So I Do Believe None of This is Physical

Well, at least not to me…

Most days I spend around here my mind wanders to many distant places… of which I welcome sensations that aren’t quite dreams, but more like voices. I hear things in my head that just make perfect sense; and this blog, my dear Josie, and my words, try to resemble the inner meanings theses voices vicariously transpire through me.

Don’t shoot the messenger. I’ve done nothing wrong. In fact, I believe in every move I make; simple deliberate actions that appropriate far more than you could ever understand. Make me out a monster, but I can’t help the coincidence that I am a Two-Headed Boy. Sing everything as loud as you possiblecan, for signals of emotion are the most beautiful exert of passion one can ever imagine.

Relishing in cosmic haze can really coat the soul with some interesting shit to observe. Stuff you don’t normally come across, but secretly enthralls you as you drift through the freshness these mysteries commit. Hmmm…. Can we find an example? I think so:

Doesn’t that look like fun!? Above Helm’s Deep, you can see Captain Neptune anchoring our rope. Where are we? Why are we there? Well, that answer is simple: We are exactly where we needed to be at the perfect moment not to be there, trying to release ourselves from the bullshit “fate” normal folk rely upon.

Upon dropping our rope 100 feet below the cliff’s edge, we looked to each other and smiled. Repelling down a cliff is easy and dangerous… but I’ve never even practiced or tried (How Fun!). So I strapped into my harness and threw myself over the deadly edge. After 10 feet, I clasped my hands firmly onto my beligh device, immediately impeding my free fall. I looked up to Captain Neptune’s scared eyes above me, and laughed my head off.

“How fucking rad is this shit!” I screamed back up to him.

“Dude… just go for it! Life is always in your hands; only you decide what happens next.” He sheepishly yelled down to me with a casual grin.

I finished the rest of the repel rather quickly… excited from the adrenaline rush flowing through my soul. As my feet touched Mother Earth once again, Captain Neptune followed suit down the cliff to join me at the bottom. We decided to climb back up; despite the treacherous rocks and difficulty the route back up would demand us to overcome. I went first… climbing my way up: 10 feet. 30 feet. At 50 feet I faltered, slipping on a rock as it collapsed upon my grasp. I screamed, however Captain Neptune had me firmly in his grasp… As I swung back and forth, I eventually grabbed ahold of a new rock grip that had emerged from the destruction I had committed, and continued my climb back towards the peak. Along the way, many difficult climbing routes had to be found, and as I sifted my way through the puzzle natural rocks gave to me, I completed my task.

Captain Neptune lowered me to the ground, congratulating me. He then scared the absolute shit out of me: “Now it’s my turn, you ready?”

I have never belighed another person in my life. Yet my friend trusted his life in my hands. He instructed the basics to me, and looked me in the eye as he began his ascent. “I never belighed someone anywhere close to this height for over 2 years… I trained to do that job until I was ready to correctly perform it. But I trust you.” Captain Neptune’s last words before he started to climb were simple: “Dude on a rock?”

“Rock Fucking on Dude!” I anxiously told him. He began climbing, and I did my best to keep up with him as he expertly worked his way up. Around 50 feet, again it happened. A rock slipped out of the cliff, smashing into Captain Neptune’s head… Immediately the rope jumped and jerked me, but I knew my friend, and I grabbed ahold of my harness and beligh line, instantly stopping his free-fall just like he had done for me. “Are you fucking ok!?!?!?!” I screamed to a limb figure.

“Dude… I’m grand.” He quickly said, fighting to regain his position on the rock wall as blood dripped to the base of the cliff. Captain Neptune made it to the top of that cliff, and when I lowered him down, he smiled and just whispered: “Thanks dude. I trusted you.”

I’ll never let my life slip out of my hands. And I’d be god damned if I EVER let my best friends’ lives slip out either.

When Your Creativity is Really Even, Think About Prime Numbers and Go Try Again

Good Evening you fine folk. This entry comes to you around 11 p.m. Mountain Time, however my flakey Internet in my cabin has refused to work since the storm. So whatever time this post is labeled at is in the near future when I trek to the CP.

Or now even…

“Can’t get the stink out… its been hanging around for days. Comes like a comet, circled you, but not your friends. One day I’ll get to you, and teach you how to be a Holy Cow! You do it to yourself! You Do! And that’s what really hurts. You do it to yourself! Just you; you and no one else!”

What a drag normality brings to me most times. I fear about losing interest in everything that surrounds me… but I still adhere to my desire to explore and reshape my own view of my world. I do so to enlighten my Proprioception; re-aligning myself towards my center has evolved into a bright daily activity.

More irony is quite nice… and I’ll be damned! I’m reading a book about a band, listening to a song the book says to turn your volume down in the middle… hahahaha UM DUH! I’m turning my volume up… in fact all the way. Blow a fucking hole into my consciousness and experience the music how Isaac Brock wanted me to!

Some guy wondered what he would do without the casual world around him, and he had a theory too. He said “God takes care of himself, him or you… allow the sounds to surround and engulf you… Its all nice. It ain’t dead, and it ain’t good, It ain’t nice, but it’s still on ice, alright!”

So how do I write this “new” song I’m unable to stop hearing? Its been almost a year in the making, yet I still change and re-create the story behind it, constantly altering the emotion filled structure the song delicately attempts to balance. Lets simply describe this process to the Virtuous Lady T:

“_____________ when ___________, spontaneously ____________!”

Her response was absolutely solid: “I Can Dig That.”

Really? If she thinks so and enjoys my creativity, then let the song be finally completed! Few have ever heard this song’s remnants, a small group of 5… The next will be a stranger, because my valued 7^th listener shall be none other than the Lady T herself. Without hearing a note or chord, she supports me through the difficult mental transpiration a song of this magnitude demands. Even when all is well, I welcome intentional trips through the desolate past memories and places I’ve been through. If I forget where these times and landmarks sent me, I wouldn’t be true to my center and inner soul.

Well in other news sports fans,

Today was very laid back, plenty of time to reflect and self-create experiences I always intended on immersing myself…

I accomplished a goal, finally achieving the rank of Archer; using an ancient Bear Re-Curve bow, I properly earned my spot among the few here who have performed this feat. Honestly I believe in my ability to move even further up and completing the rare Silver Bow legend. Yeah you read that right… I am pretty damn good at using a bow.

Hahahaha Sorry but this question haunts my mind…. Is this all because “it was laid out in the stars?” To those few who get this sharply cut reference… Absolutely fucking not! I am an archer because I have practiced and developed the skill to pinpoint any arrow, poisoned or lovely, towards whatever target I desire to strike. So to the simple-minded, trashed individuals who might be still reading this: Screw your false beliefs in some already decided and predicted fate perspectives. I told you they were shit and I don’t care to waste my time on such nonsense.

AH! A good ol’ rant never did any one wrong did it now? Good night to you few who I admire and relish in your beautiful presence.

But to you who relishes in absolute garbage: well no ones first, and you're next!

The Unquestionable Supremacy of Nature

Give 'em All a Big Fat Lip

Hahaha, Oh the irony for the evening.

The following depicts tonight's concert experience.

P-Groove (ah... I know this was the 12th (at least) time I've seen them...) at this pretty awesome venue in Chattanooga, TN.

As usual, my generosity got the best of me, yet I still sacrificed kindness for responsiblity and maturity. I realize I'm older than most of my fellows around me, and despite the lameness of this statement I selflessly engulf everyone into my Moth Nest; a place where I take care of everything, allowing only for conscious enlightenment.

I wonder why P-Groove doesn't ever smile? I mean the new keyboardist practically was having sex on stage... I don't like even seeing them anymore and I was noodling my ass off!

So irony develops... I find myself in the front row dancing among a former mortal enemy... someone who became involved with a previous memory I still try to escape. Yet we were in a common center... mutually satisfied by the scene we had become engulfed into.

How grand of such a strange premonition of mine I felt would actually occur?

'

Then the most fun of the night took place... I had claimed my large space in the front row, occupying a reasonable area due to people allowing me to dance and groove myself appropriately. So my buddy challenges me to a groove off... as we lose ourselves away, I decided to declare victory in one single flowing notion. Using my keys and the assistance of Captain Neptune, I cut the sleeves off my (from 2nd grade.... hey i'm low on clean clothes ok!) polo... immediately these too hippie chicks steal the sleeves and use them as armbands. I have totally just dominated this dance off. BOO YA KA SHAA

Then I dealt with expected bullshit from the usualness. But I headed South and delivered us home.

Good Night everybody.

My Buy In

Wow.

This post completely deviates from the rest of the blog and themes.

All I can say is I buy in, and I now have been enlightened to some of the happiest thoughts and feelings I have ever experienced. Tonight I saw a light on in my cabin. This is typical of my campers as they tend to stay up too late reading and I have to tell them to go to bed. But this time was different; as I got out of bed and opened my curtain into the main cabin area, I simply noticed one reading light still on. He had fallen asleep, and I just reached over and turned his light off for him.

I can't describe the feelings this mindless notion is provoking me to experience. Accomplishment? Goodness? Kindness? Duty? No, more of a happiness for what my life has in store and most importantly acknowledgment of the greatness I possess; A greatness that I know I'm able to share and selflessly give to my world.

I love the world more than I have ever known in my entire existence right now.

Good night

Chiwombits?

"We were both fucked up that first time we met

Kissing each other with lip dry, not wet

Those days remain a blur to me

Probably why I closed my eyes to see

Something deeper inside of you

Yet even my eyelid's darkness I saw through

Hold up, don't wait

Let that moment dissipate

Turn to waste, everything we saw right

All those nights we both craved a fight

I don't know why I did that,

You don't know what you did back

Great things got fucked around... and

No one pretended to hear those sounds!

Flying high on an endless cloud

Our souls entrenched upon your crown

Dug up those needless memories,

Of restless nights and positivity

Although the gallery questions you and me

I dared not to break our creed

Even though, I think I tried, one of us always cried

We both got tired of paying rent; it

Never accrued and never got spent

Hold up, don't wait

Let that moment dissipate

Turn to waste, everything we saw right

All those nights we both craved a fight

We never cared about clearing away

Rampart meanings we never meant to say

We both got tired of paying rent; it

Never accrued and never got spent"

..... Oh wait, lets go for the TKO...

"First glance, maybe you deserved a chance

But after I tried, too many seconds died

Cleverly, I though I drove further than

Those other just fucking "friends"

Nevertheless, I know my curse is forever blessed

A blissful remedy from your vanity means there's

No more secrets left free

Knock, Knock... Who's there?

God' Damn timely repairs

Repair who? Well, repair you!

I'm sick from breathing in your hot air

Kick the door in, don't stand outside "friend"

How's it feel? To be warm inside my home

Away from gloom, welcome plentiful doom

Heart feeling warm, senseless adjourn

Messed around, got your strings tied

Denying flight, stuck grounded outside

Bet you went all in, removing the shirt, exposing flawed skin

Convinced myself of softness, until I stepped up and screamed

"Your not so Flawless!"

You turned away, shamefully in dissarray

Come on now, lash on out!

Alert us all on Why your silent as you shout!

Knock, Knock... Who's there?

God' Damn timely repairs

Repair who? Well, repair you!

I'm sick from breathing in your hot air

Kick the door in, don't stand outside "friend"

How's it feel? To be warm inside my home

Away from gloom, welcome plentiful doom

One breaks up into two

Always, I knew

Your heartless and unfocused,

Disguised by tasteless Woo."

C.R.O.T.D.

Just something short and easy for your pleasure:

"We drank wine in the matinee

and the spotlight showed what i chased away

kill me, kill me

i called i called, but i cant get through
said he's on his own, but his own is you

she saw my comb over, her hourglass body
she had problems with drinking milk
and being school tardy
she'll loan you her toothbrush
she'll bartend you party"

Seriously? Perfect example of why selling out just leaves you with empty, selfless sounds only others want to hear. When you care about what you do, and how you do it, then its absolutely necessary to be selfish to protect your talents and not allow others to exploit them for commonly known satisfaction.

To make my point clear, I will give you everything, my heart, my thoughts, and my time. But you'll never be able to acquire or understand my true nature that comprises my soul. Try your hardest, you'll inevitably fail without touching that which I value sacredly.

Time to erupt again.

H.R.O!

Well... I'll put it this way: I've instantly been presented so much new song writing material in a very short time. Life can be really strange, but I've already readjusted my center to these days and times.

But these songs I'm already forming and creating are reverbishly louder than I planned on turning up. If you are wearing earplugs, then your just scared.

"You rise, you fall, your down, then you rise again

What don't kill you make you more strong!"

So how are things? Absolutely Rad!

Times are absurd; but no matter, reality is perfectly clear. Incredible things can occur, and they just fly by you quicker than these fleeting summer days. I know my place, but it doesn't know me. No one wants to hear that your breaking up; it wasn't long ago this said start me up. All your dreaming will have to wait, what you deserve you'll anticipate. On your own you let me down; but you damn sure provided many good laughs. To those who just understood what I just said, you'll realize the senseless meaning behind those words.

"Cold Fame, in my brain.

But its ok, because I know its the best for me."

Hmmm... not sure why the font keeps changing one me.

Did you know from the 10 opening moves possible in chess, there are 170,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 ways to react?

So out of any simple decision you make, there are countless potential results and consequences. I feel like this perspective instills a bigger picture reality involved in all choices I, or you too, make. Maybe I'm just speculating about "thinking before acting"; for if you act irrationally and untrue to yourself, you just wind up in a whirlpool of endlessly distress results.

You can't be lost if you have no place to go. But we all have somewhere we can travel too. I've hit the road, left the punk rock city back to the mountainous escape. A place where I can focus my energy and concentrate my soul towards results I love to create.

So yeah... things are pretty fuckin' Rad!

"We love the Jams, and Jams.. they are free"

Revival

Ladies and Gentlemen,

This Blog is now coming back to you louder and stronger than ever.

I forced myself over another situation, and in my newly self-discovered

State of mind, I'm quite creative. You see, I interfered with something special

Purposely to stay true to myself, but cause quite the stir to provoke

My soul back out of my shell. I have written so much lately, songs, lyrics, and

Chapters in my book, that I am grateful and relieved my choice to deviate

From what future negative externalities that situation would create.

TERRIBLE LIE!