Tiny Home; Loud Noise

Ladies and Gentleman: yesterday everything began.

Stay tuned or listen up!

I Hear You Cry; Your Tears Are Cheap

KABOOM!!!!

Instantly the band in front of your eyes explodes; blasting into a static atmosphere you can only dream of feeling. However, once you come to know this experience of a musician discovering yourself, the feeling is absolutely bittersweet (Emphasis on the bitterness.... which sours the sweetness into something loud yet unique). Over and over I've shamed myself into keeping away from today by refusing to transpire the rawness I possess and hold inside my head. This whole blog is a crack in the entire dream I

will create.

Scared of going the entire way down? Some strange fading darkness engulfs my creative thoughts. Despite my madness and acceptance of history; I try to hate the bind it creates, only to relinquish in the sugar it feeds me. Sound weird? Well then turn your fucking headphones up!

"You'll Never Die And You'll Never Grow Old"

I Love Sugar.

Cool.

Courtney Love approves of my Hendrix tattoo...

So rad.

Free Zone: Play On

Captain Neptune and Mothball went on quite an adventure this summer. I wrote a book describing part of the journey, however the minor blog entries that were posted offer a glimpse of an unforgettable summer. The picture above was taken at the base of Little River Canyon's miles of climbable rock cliffs. I've fallen in love and addicted to the breathtaking release climbing rewards. Natural rock climbing requires determination, in the form of "make this leap or your falling off to your death". The justification of that attitude relies on your buddy, who is belaying you at 150 feet and knows when to grab the rope when you chance each daring move. Needless to say, Captain Neptune and Mothball make a fearless exploring duo.

Captain Neptune always enjoyed initially testing his freshly tied anchors

by leaping off the cliffs.

Welllllll in other news sports-fans: (MBC!) Heres a complete subject changer to allievate the main course of tonights menu.

"I spent it all
On the bag
On the drag
The sun comes down, the tide rolls back
We crawl our way back to the
house we call home
He holds his home in the palm of his hand
And he says, and he says
You are my everyone, you are my anyone
You are my anytime, you are my every time
You are my everywhere...anywhere..."

~ Fugazi

Where to Mothballin' begin? Summer flew by my eyes; leaving

unique thoughts, memories, and experiences, forever preserved

in my soul. Did I grow from my 9 weeks atop Lookout Mountain?

Well of course I did, however I didn't traditionally mature.

An oxymoron can only simply describe what I mean:

"Grow-Down"

I transformed into a pure Laney Boy, a status only the few who attend

our sacred haven can appreciatively understand. Over the long,

demanding summer activities I discovered more meaning to life's

true reality through the children I encountered. Take for Example:

(Real camper names are substituted with appropriate pseudonyms)

Mirror Link - reminded me of myself as a camper, inspiring pride

in how far I've come along

Reese's Pieces - my first challenge, developed my ability to transform

fully from a former camper to a counselor

Matthew Stafford - not only did I indulge in the mysterious humor

that he looked identical to the former UGA QB, but I learned

determination from his fearless strategic attitude in Bombardi

Condiment Cabin - graced me with humility and carelessness to have fun

Horn Thief - reminded me not to judge someone initially, because

if you get to know them you'll appreciate their fresh perspectives.

But never underestimate others authority

The Pit Ball Twins - had to have been the coolest campers I encountered

One-Tooth 60's Guru - inspired my hope for younger generations

appreciating the history of music

Woodland Critter Cabin - supplied many laughs at jokes I used to love,

yet now have matured to finally understand

Sterling Archer - taught me how to not let trivial inconvenient things

spoil who I am

Jeff Beck - looked up to me, so I did my best to be an A+ counselor.

C.I.T. - required me to utilize all the staff training skills I had learned

(blah I know that sounds lame but like I said, these random instances

are mere glimpses of my experience)

The Care-Bear Killers - .... Sorry I am unable to disclose any information

regarding the CBK...

My time in Mentone, AL will always remain personal and sacred in my

heart and soul. The above lessons represent a minor portion of my

experience this summer. Only two things remain to be said:

1) I'm returning next summer; there is much I still owe to the legend

2) Thank god I'm a Laney Boy!

WOMP!!! Flash forward now to my new conscious reality:

"You'll Never Die And You'll Never Grow Old"

~ MBC

A Blessing and A Curse

"Once upon a time, my advice to you would have been go out and find yourself a whore
But I guess I've grown up, because I don't give that kind of advice anymore

Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt

I was 27 when I figured out that blowing my brains wasn't the answer
So I decided, maybe I should find a way to make this world work out for me
And my good friend Paul was 83 when he told me; that "To love is to feel pain"
And I thought about that then and I've thought about that again and again

Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt

"To love is to feel pain" there ain't no way around it
The very nature of love is to grieve when it is over
The secret to a happy ending is knowing when to role the credits
Better role them now before something else goes wrong
No, it's a wonderful world, if you can put aside the sadness
And hang on to every ounce of beauty upon you
Better take the time to know it there ain't no way around it
If you feel anything at all

Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt

So if what you have is working for you, or you think that it can stand a reasonable chance, and whatever's broken seems fixable and nothing's beyond repair
If you still think about each other and smile before you remember how screwed up it's gotten or maybe dream of a time less rotten
Remember, it ain't too late to take a deep breath and throw yourself into it with everything you got

It's great to be alive"

So I Do Believe None of This is Physical

Well, at least not to me…

Most days I spend around here my mind wanders to many distant places… of which I welcome sensations that aren’t quite dreams, but more like voices. I hear things in my head that just make perfect sense; and this blog, my dear Josie, and my words, try to resemble the inner meanings theses voices vicariously transpire through me.

Don’t shoot the messenger. I’ve done nothing wrong. In fact, I believe in every move I make; simple deliberate actions that appropriate far more than you could ever understand. Make me out a monster, but I can’t help the coincidence that I am a Two-Headed Boy. Sing everything as loud as you possiblecan, for signals of emotion are the most beautiful exert of passion one can ever imagine.

Relishing in cosmic haze can really coat the soul with some interesting shit to observe. Stuff you don’t normally come across, but secretly enthralls you as you drift through the freshness these mysteries commit. Hmmm…. Can we find an example? I think so:

Doesn’t that look like fun!? Above Helm’s Deep, you can see Captain Neptune anchoring our rope. Where are we? Why are we there? Well, that answer is simple: We are exactly where we needed to be at the perfect moment not to be there, trying to release ourselves from the bullshit “fate” normal folk rely upon.

Upon dropping our rope 100 feet below the cliff’s edge, we looked to each other and smiled. Repelling down a cliff is easy and dangerous… but I’ve never even practiced or tried (How Fun!). So I strapped into my harness and threw myself over the deadly edge. After 10 feet, I clasped my hands firmly onto my beligh device, immediately impeding my free fall. I looked up to Captain Neptune’s scared eyes above me, and laughed my head off.

“How fucking rad is this shit!” I screamed back up to him.

“Dude… just go for it! Life is always in your hands; only you decide what happens next.” He sheepishly yelled down to me with a casual grin.

I finished the rest of the repel rather quickly… excited from the adrenaline rush flowing through my soul. As my feet touched Mother Earth once again, Captain Neptune followed suit down the cliff to join me at the bottom. We decided to climb back up; despite the treacherous rocks and difficulty the route back up would demand us to overcome. I went first… climbing my way up: 10 feet. 30 feet. At 50 feet I faltered, slipping on a rock as it collapsed upon my grasp. I screamed, however Captain Neptune had me firmly in his grasp… As I swung back and forth, I eventually grabbed ahold of a new rock grip that had emerged from the destruction I had committed, and continued my climb back towards the peak. Along the way, many difficult climbing routes had to be found, and as I sifted my way through the puzzle natural rocks gave to me, I completed my task.

Captain Neptune lowered me to the ground, congratulating me. He then scared the absolute shit out of me: “Now it’s my turn, you ready?”

I have never belighed another person in my life. Yet my friend trusted his life in my hands. He instructed the basics to me, and looked me in the eye as he began his ascent. “I never belighed someone anywhere close to this height for over 2 years… I trained to do that job until I was ready to correctly perform it. But I trust you.” Captain Neptune’s last words before he started to climb were simple: “Dude on a rock?”

“Rock Fucking on Dude!” I anxiously told him. He began climbing, and I did my best to keep up with him as he expertly worked his way up. Around 50 feet, again it happened. A rock slipped out of the cliff, smashing into Captain Neptune’s head… Immediately the rope jumped and jerked me, but I knew my friend, and I grabbed ahold of my harness and beligh line, instantly stopping his free-fall just like he had done for me. “Are you fucking ok!?!?!?!” I screamed to a limb figure.

“Dude… I’m grand.” He quickly said, fighting to regain his position on the rock wall as blood dripped to the base of the cliff. Captain Neptune made it to the top of that cliff, and when I lowered him down, he smiled and just whispered: “Thanks dude. I trusted you.”

I’ll never let my life slip out of my hands. And I’d be god damned if I EVER let my best friends’ lives slip out either.

When Your Creativity is Really Even, Think About Prime Numbers and Go Try Again

Good Evening you fine folk. This entry comes to you around 11 p.m. Mountain Time, however my flakey Internet in my cabin has refused to work since the storm. So whatever time this post is labeled at is in the near future when I trek to the CP.

Or now even…

“Can’t get the stink out… its been hanging around for days. Comes like a comet, circled you, but not your friends. One day I’ll get to you, and teach you how to be a Holy Cow! You do it to yourself! You Do! And that’s what really hurts. You do it to yourself! Just you; you and no one else!”

What a drag normality brings to me most times. I fear about losing interest in everything that surrounds me… but I still adhere to my desire to explore and reshape my own view of my world. I do so to enlighten my Proprioception; re-aligning myself towards my center has evolved into a bright daily activity.

More irony is quite nice… and I’ll be damned! I’m reading a book about a band, listening to a song the book says to turn your volume down in the middle… hahahaha UM DUH! I’m turning my volume up… in fact all the way. Blow a fucking hole into my consciousness and experience the music how Isaac Brock wanted me to!

Some guy wondered what he would do without the casual world around him, and he had a theory too. He said “God takes care of himself, him or you… allow the sounds to surround and engulf you… Its all nice. It ain’t dead, and it ain’t good, It ain’t nice, but it’s still on ice, alright!”

So how do I write this “new” song I’m unable to stop hearing? Its been almost a year in the making, yet I still change and re-create the story behind it, constantly altering the emotion filled structure the song delicately attempts to balance. Lets simply describe this process to the Virtuous Lady T:

“_____________ when ___________, spontaneously ____________!”

Her response was absolutely solid: “I Can Dig That.”

Really? If she thinks so and enjoys my creativity, then let the song be finally completed! Few have ever heard this song’s remnants, a small group of 5… The next will be a stranger, because my valued 7^th listener shall be none other than the Lady T herself. Without hearing a note or chord, she supports me through the difficult mental transpiration a song of this magnitude demands. Even when all is well, I welcome intentional trips through the desolate past memories and places I’ve been through. If I forget where these times and landmarks sent me, I wouldn’t be true to my center and inner soul.

Well in other news sports fans,

Today was very laid back, plenty of time to reflect and self-create experiences I always intended on immersing myself…

I accomplished a goal, finally achieving the rank of Archer; using an ancient Bear Re-Curve bow, I properly earned my spot among the few here who have performed this feat. Honestly I believe in my ability to move even further up and completing the rare Silver Bow legend. Yeah you read that right… I am pretty damn good at using a bow.

Hahahaha Sorry but this question haunts my mind…. Is this all because “it was laid out in the stars?” To those few who get this sharply cut reference… Absolutely fucking not! I am an archer because I have practiced and developed the skill to pinpoint any arrow, poisoned or lovely, towards whatever target I desire to strike. So to the simple-minded, trashed individuals who might be still reading this: Screw your false beliefs in some already decided and predicted fate perspectives. I told you they were shit and I don’t care to waste my time on such nonsense.

AH! A good ol’ rant never did any one wrong did it now? Good night to you few who I admire and relish in your beautiful presence.

But to you who relishes in absolute garbage: well no ones first, and you're next!

The Unquestionable Supremacy of Nature